Healing a ‘Broken Heart’: Self-Care Strategies and Knowing When to Get Support

Regine Velasquez, “Asia’s Songbird”, delivers a powerful message of resilience and moving on in her iconic song, “You’ve Made Me Stronger”. The chorus goes, “You’ve made me stronger by breaking my heart. You ended my life and made a better one start. You’ve taught me everything from falling in love, to letting go of a lie. Yes, you’ve made me stronger, baby by saying goodbye.”

A broken heart, whether from a breakup, the loss of a loved one, a rejection, or a defeat, is one of life’s most painful and distressing experiences. Unfortunately, it’s something that affects nearly everyone. A heartache is far more than a feeling of sadness. It is often a complex of emotions that can overwhelm and impact your mental and physical health.

What Happens When You’re Brokenhearted?

Take a closer look at the ripple effect of a broken heart and how it triggers different psychological and physical responses.

Emotional Impact

Immense sadness – Getting your heart broken can cause intense loneliness, usually accompanied by frequent crying spells, a sense of emptiness, and a feeling of despair.
Rumination – According to Healthline, your mind may constantly replay negative thoughts and experiences and “what if” scenarios. The unwanted mental loop can cause or worsen anxiety and prevent you from moving on.
Stress and Anxiety – The end of a relationship or loss of someone you deeply cared for can turn your world upside down. Unsettling emotions can run high, causing stress and anxiety, heightened by intrusive thoughts, restlessness, panic, constant worrying, and a negative view of what lies ahead.
Depression – It’s normal to feel down after a breakup or the loss of a loved one, but deep and persistent despair, lasting at least two weeks, may be a sign of depression. According to WebMD symptoms of depression may include lingering low mood, social withdrawal, lack of enthusiasm in activities you once enjoyed (anhedonia), feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, and difficulty experiencing pleasure.
Difficulty Concentrating – Heartbreak can impair your ability to focus, affecting your work, studies, or daily tasks. Intrusive thoughts can preoccupy your mind, making it difficult to concentrate and process information.
Mood Swings – Heartbreak can trigger a rollercoaster of emotions, occurring in unpredictable ways. One moment you might feel calm, and the next you get easily frustrated and anger creeps in, shifting your emotional state.

Physical Impact

A heartache can have physical effects due to the rush of stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline.

Disrupted Sleep – The pain of a breakup or loss of a loved one can make it difficult to sleep or stay asleep, disrupting your normal sleep schedule. In some cases, heartache can lead to excessive sleeping as a form of emotional escape.
Change in Appetite – Some people experience a loss of appetite, leading to weight loss, while others manage emotional distress through stress eating, resulting in weight gain.
Fatigue – The combination of physical and emotional symptoms can easily drain your energy, leaving you feeling exhausted.
Digestive Problems – According to Harvard Health, stress can have a big impact on your gut, resulting in nausea, vomiting, stomach ache, constipation, or diarrhea. It can also worsen existing health issues such as irritable bowel syndrome (IBS).
Aches and Pains – Physical tension due to emotional turmoil can lead to headaches and body aches.
High Blood Pressure – Stress associated with emotional distress can elevate blood pressure.
Weakened Immune System – Chronic stress can lower your immune system, making you susceptible to common infections like cough, colds, and flu.
“Broken Heart Syndrome” – Also called Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy, this temporary heart condition can cause chest pain, shortness of breath, and irregular heartbeat, mimicking symptoms of a heart attack. If you experience these symptoms, Johns Hopkins Medicine strongly recommends that you get immediate medical attention.

How To Cope With A Broken Heart?

While heartache is a universal experience, people deal with a broken heart differently. This painful emotional experience can be a challenging and difficult journey for many people but there are ways to deal with a broken heart. Here are some self-care coping strategies to promote the healing process and help you move forward.

Prioritize Self-Care Strategies

Allow Yourself To Feel – Embracing your emotions is the first step towards healing. It’s normal to experience a wave of emotions such as sadness, anger, despair, frustration, and confusion. Don’t try to escape your emotions because they can resurface later, sometimes in more intense ways such as emotional outbursts, anxiety, depression, or physical symptoms. Try confiding in a trusted friend or writing your feelings in a journal.
Establish Healthy Boundaries – If you’re recovering from a breakup, it’s generally best to limit communication with your ex, preventing negative emotions and giving you space to heal. This might mean politely declining calls or invitations to see each other, and even unfollowing their social media accounts. The space will help you heal and move on.
Nurture Your Body and Mind – Do your best to take care of yourself despite the challenges of mending a broken heart. Fuel your body with nutritious meals and engage in physical activity. Try mindful activities that can help you feel more grounded such as meditation and yoga.
Rediscover Old Interests – A heartache can leave you feeling lost and disconnected. Take it as an opportunity to rediscover old hobbies or interests that you used to enjoy. This can help shift your focus from the pain to something that sparks joy in your life.
Engage In Something New – Dive into new experiences to help you rediscover your zest of life. It may be anything from signing up in a local fitness group to learning a new craft or sport. Sometimes taking a break from familiar surroundings can shift your perspective from constant rumination to new memories. Choosing a destination where you can engage in quiet contemplation such as a beach, a quiet town, or a mountain can be therapeutic for your mental health.
Get Support – Reaching out to trusted family members or friends can help you process your emotions and combat loneliness which are crucial for mental well-being.
Seek Professional Help – Emotional distress can sometimes be overwhelming and impact your well-being. If you exhibit signs of depression or have thoughts of self-harm, it’s highly recommended that you consult a health professional like a counselor or a therapist right away. They can help you understand your emotional responses, and guide you toward building healthy coping strategies.

Conclusion

Healing a broken heart is a deeply personal journey. While they say that time is the ultimate healer, learning to embrace self-care strategies – from allowing yourself to feel your emotions to seeking professional help – can help foster healing.

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